Warped Personalities
by Kaisa
Summary: The Titans' personalities are different...They have been warped beyond reconition...! {complete}
1. Chapter One

okay, this is a very weird story. I tried to make each Titan have a personality like each of my siblings. (including me) Except...I had to make one of my sisters Cyborg... ...

I dont own Teen Titans, the Girl Scouts, or the Girl Scout cookies - But I do own Karate Masters. HA

-Kaisa

PS - Beast Boy is my youngest brother. He's seven.

* * *

Warped Personalities

It was a normal day, on a normal Saturday. But all was not normal in Titans' Tower. It was the day before where everything was truly normal. But not that day.

The five Titans were in the main room, each doing their own thing.

Beast Boy was sitting on the floor, playing with his Thomas the tank engine trains.

Starfire was cleaning up.

Cyborg was on the internet, talking to who knows how many people on Instant Messenger.

Robin was building a car model.

And Raven was writing something in a notebook.

"Robin!" Beast Boy called. "Do you want to play trains with me?"

"Later, I'm working on something," Robin replied, dipping a paint brush in model paint and painting a piece of the model he was working on.

Beast Boy frowned and went back to his trains.

"Why don't you help clean up?" Starfire asked. "It's really messy in here." Then she looked at Robin and Beast Boy in particular. "And it doesn't help that you shove all the junk and garbage under the couch."

Neither of the boys answered.

Raven looked up from her notebook and asked Beast Boy, "Can you do me a favor?"

Beast Boy looked suspicious. "What kind of favor?"

"Can you hand me my CD player?" Just then Raven remembered something. "Hey, wait, I have powers!" And with that, she used her telekinesis to float the CD player over to her.

After a few minutes, Beast Boy got bored with his trains. He walked up to Starfire. "Say something in German?"

Starfire spoke a few sentences in German.

The rest of the other Titans didn't know what she had just said. After all, Starfire was the one who was fluent in German, not the rest of them.

"What'd you say?" Beast Boy asked.

"I said, 'why don't you do something else? Like play the GameStation, or play trains with Robin…Or clean up,'" Starfire responded.

"Oh," Beast Boy said, then went over and watched Robin build his model.

Raven was still writing, now listening to music as she did so, mouthing all the words to whatever song she was listening to.

Beast Boy noticed Raven mouthing the words, and said to her, "You're so weird."

Raven didn't hear him.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door (Wherever the door is.).

"Robin, will you answer the door?" Starfire said.

"Fine," Robin replied, looking annoyed.

He came back a few minutes later. "Just some Girl Scouts who want to sell us something. I brought them in."

Behind him were two of Slade's robots, with green vests on.

"Robin!" Raven shouted.

"What?"

"THOSE ARE SLADE-BOTS!" Raven shouted, using her own name for Slade's robots.

"Oh. Really? They are so convincing."

Cyborg turned around in his chair. "What's all the racket?" Then he saw the robots. He used his sonic blaster to blast one of them.

Beast Boy's eyes widened. "What did you do! You killed a _Girl Scout_!"

Robin looked at Beast Boy. "They're Slade robots, doofus."

"But what if they had cookies!"

While Beast Boy and Robin were arguing, the other robot was sneaking up behind Beast Boy…

"Beast Boy, duck!" Starfire shouted.

Beast Boy transformed into a duck. "Quack."

"Azerath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!" The words came from behind the robot, and there was Raven, floating in the air.

The robot was encased in the black aura that came from Raven.

Raven used her telekinesis to throw the robot out the window and into the lake.

Beast Boy gasped. "OOOOO! Raven broke a window! She's in trouble now…"

"I was getting rid of a Slade-Bot, doesn't that count for something?"

"At least clean up all the glass before someone steps on it," said Starfire.

"Fine," Raven grumbled, then went to look for the broom and the dustpan.

"LOOK!" Beast Boy shouted.

Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin stared at him.

"The robots left something!" Beast Boy said excitedly, picking up a box of Girl Scout cookies. "See! They _did_ have cookies!"

Cyborg got up, took the box of cookies from Beast Boy, then threw them out the broken window.

"What'd you do _that_ for!"

"They could have been poisoned."

"But they were _Animal Treasures!_"

"But they were delivered here by Slade-Bots, which mean they aren't any good," Raven said, coming back into the room and sweeping up the glass.

"What if Slade wanted to be nice to us, so he sent us cookies?"

"Slade isn't Grandma, Beast Boy," Raven replied.

Beast Boy pouted.

"Now it's all cold in here," Robin whined, pointing to the broken window. "Yah shouldn't've broken the window, Raven."

Raven glared at him.

"I'm done with my model. Who wants to play Karate Masters?" Robin said, jumping on the couch, picking up a game controller, and turning on the GameStation.

"I will!" Raven said, getting up and sitting next to Robin.

"I want to play too!" Beast Boy said.

"Sorry, Beast Boy, it's a two player game."

Beast Boy glared at Raven and Robin. "I get to play as soon as you're done."

"Okay," Raven said.

"First level," Robin said. "I wanna be Karate Kid!"

On the first few levels on Karate Masters, you could only pick out of two characters: Karate Kid and Karate Grandpa, and Raven defiantly didn't want Karate Grandpa.

"No, I want to be Karate Kid!"

"No, _I_ want to be Karate Kid!"

"_No, I want to be Karate Kid!_"

"Well, I don't want to be Karate Grandpa…I mean, with his teeth falling out all the time…It's just _really_ annoying to fight with him," Robin replied.

"Why don't we flip a coin?" Raven said, taking out a nickel and handing it to Beast Boy.

"Call it in the air," Robin said.

Beast Boy flipped the coin.

"Heads!" Raven called.

"Raven wins," Beast Boy said.

"Hurray!" Robin said.

"What?"

"We said that if you win the coin toss, you get to be Karate Grandpa!" Robin answered with a laugh.

"Uh-uh, we did not!" Raven said, picking Karate Kid and starting the game.

-

* * *

Little cliffhanger there. If you want more, tell me. If you dont, too bad, i'm writing more anyway, because my brothers want me to. 


	2. Chapter Two

okay, next part...only diffencence is i think that the personalities arent mine and my siblings anymore...i think they're just warped now...

-Kaisa

* * *

-

An hour later, the Titans' were called to dinner.

The topic of discussion was Karate Masters.

"Well, I won most of the levels," Raven started.

"That's only because Karate Grandpa kept losing his dentures!" Robin protested.

"So? Just because Karate Grandpa lost his dentures, doesn't mean you can't win," Starfire said.

"Everyone knows that you can't finish the level without Karate Grandpa's teeth!" Raven replied.

"Can't you pick them back up?" Cyborg asked.

"Not if you can't find them! Robin lost the teeth and he couldn't find them, therefore, I won," Raven said.

Robin grumbled something that no one else caught.

-

The next day, someone was knocking at the door.

"I'll get it!" Beast Boy called.

"Be careful," Starfire said.

"I will!" Beast Boy replied, remembering yesterday. And he left the room.

Minutes later, Raven heard a small scream. _Beast Boy_, she thought, running towards the door.

She saw Beast Boy, who had transformed into a chicken, poking the legs of two very real Girl Scouts.

"Beast Boy, _what are you doing_!"

Beast Boy transformed back into himself. "I'm trying to get rid of these Slade-Bots, can't you see! Help me get rid of them!"

Raven shook her head. "No, Beast Boy, these are _real_ Girl Scouts!"

Then she apologized to the two apparently terrified Girl Scouts.

"W-w-would you l-like to b-buy some…some…c-cookies?" stammered one of the Girl Scouts.

"No thanks," Raven said.

When the Girl Scouts left, Beast Boy said, "Why'd you say no! They had cookies!"

Raven ignored the question. "Beast Boy, those weren't Slade-Bots. Can't you tell the difference?"

"Uh…I guess not," Beast Boy said. "But who knows? Maybe Slade got new, more lifelike robots!"

Raven shook her head and went inside.

-

At noon, Robin came up to the rest of the Titans and said, "Hey! Did you hear?"

"Hear about what?" Cyborg asked.

"The brand new pizza place! Brand new as in it just opened today!"

"Cool," Raven exclaimed. "Let's go!"

So the Titans' went to the new pizza place, which was called: 'Spade's Pizza Place'!

"It says it's run by only four guys," Robin said.

They went inside and were greeted by four robots with pink aprons on.

"May we help you, Teen Titans?" one of them whirred.

"Sure, we'd like two pizza pies, one plain and one sausage," Cyborg answered.

When the four robots walked off, the Titans sat down, and Robin said, "What a coincidence!"

"What's a coincidence?" Starfire asked.

"I meant that it was such a coincidence that those four robots look exactly like Slade-Bots with aprons on." Then Robin laughed loudly.

The other Titans stared at him, then at the Slade-Bots who were carrying their pizza.

"Here is your pizzzzzza," said one of the Slade-Bots.

"Great!" Robin said, taking a piece and lifting it to his mouth.

But before it got there, Starfire's eyes glowed green, and twin lasers shot the pizza from Robin's hand.

"Hey! What'd yah do that for?" Robin asked.

"Those _are_ Slade-Bots!" Starfire hissed.

"Oh…But why'd you kill my pizza?"

"Because it's probably poisoned," Starfire answered.

"Can we stop talking about this and get those guys?" Raven asked.

As if in answer, Starfire's hands brightened, and she shot the closest Slade-Bot with her green star bolts, frying him.

Beast Boy stood up, transformed into an elephant, and trampled the next Slade-Bot. And when he was done, the only thing left was the pink apron.

Then Cyborg charged up his sonic blaster and shot the Slade-Bot with the big chef's hat on. The head blew off the body and smoke was rising from the neck.

And then Raven used her telekinesis and summoned the two poisoned pizzas that the Slade-Bots had made them and hurled them at the other robot, blinding him. Next she floated one of the tables over the last robots head. Then she dropped it, crushing the Slade-Bot.

"Hey! Why can't there be another robot? I want to kick butt too! But you guys took all the other ones!" Robin complained.

"I don't think I like Spade's Pizza Place," Beast Boy said.

"I bet it's code for _Slade's_ Pizza Place," Raven responded.

"Slade eats pizza?" Robin asked, looking confused and picturing Slade eating pizza. Of course, since Robin doesn't know what Slade looked like under that mask, he only pictured Slade trying to shove pizza in his mouth, but getting his mask pizza-covered instead.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Cyborg said, and the Titans left the pizza place and went back home.

-

But a few hours later, all the Titans _were_ hungry.

"Let's go to McDonald's!" Beast Boy said.

The other Titans agreed and got into the T-Car, on their way to McDonald's.

They pulled into the drive-through.

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" asked a slightly distorted voice.

Cyborg ordered for all the Titans.

"That'd be 18.64. Please pull up to the next window."

They did as the voice commanded, and paid at the next window. Then they went to the final window.

"Here's your food!" exclaimed a robot with a McDonald's visor on, along with the McDonald's uniform.

Cyborg handed everyone their food.

Beast Boy pointed at Robin's hamburger. "That. Is the weirdest pickle I have _ever_ seen!"

Robin laughed. "Yeah, it is weird. Kind of looks like rat poison, doesn't it?"

At the sound of the word poison, everyone looked at Robin and looked at his pickle. Then they looked at their own.

"Hey, guys, didn't that guy at the last window look a little suspicious?" Raven asked.

Beast Boy looked unsurprised. And exclaimed in a monotone voice, "Yeah, it was one of Slade's robots. I noticed it when I first saw him."

"And when were you going to tell us this? After we were dead!" Starfire asked.

Beast Boy sweat dropped.

And Cyborg was pulling in the drive-through again. He passed where he was supposed to order, gave the poisoned food and a warning at the girl in the next window, and finally pulled to the last window.

"Allow me," Starfire said, eyes glowing green.

Once Starfire saw that Slade-Bot with the McDonald's uniform and visor on, her eyes shot green laser bolts at him, and he disintegrated, leaving only the uniform behind.

"Uh…Why is Slade so determined to poison us?" Raven asked.

"He wants us dead, duh," Robin answered.

"I _know_ that. I meant why bother poison us if he can do the job himself?"

"I dunno, maybe he just got bored." Robin shrugged.

"Well, tomorrow we can go to the grocery store and get our own food," Cyborg said.

-

* * *

i'll put more later. ;-) 


	3. Chapter Three

Okay, this is the last, short, part. Whoever liked it, I'm glad you think it's good. Whoever doesnt, that's okay, it's not my best work.

And sorry i took so long in updating...i've been busy writing some other stuff...

Kaisa

* * *

The next day, the Titans went to the Shop Rite.

The five went down the first aisle, when Beast Boy asked a question.

"I don't get it. Why do the Shop Rite people spell 'Rite' R-I-T-E, and not 'right' R-I-G-H-T? Or even 'write' W-R-I-T-E? Do they not know how to spell?"

Raven groaned. "I don't know, Beast Boy."

But Beast Boy wouldn't let it drop while they were shopping.

"But I just don't _get it_. I never heard of a right spelled R-I-T-E. It was always different…Do you think the guy who made Shop Rite didn't have a spelling book?" Beast Boy went on as he dropped a package of cookies in the shopping cart.

"Let. It. Drop." Raven growled, having heard Beast Boy's similar questions at least once down every aisle.

"Or maybe they _meant_ to spell it W-R-I-T-E, and they just forgot the W?" Beast Boy went on, ignoring the other Titans' protests.

They finally reached the checkout counter.

"You have bought over a hundred dollars in groceries," the blond haired woman whose nametag read 'Cindy' said. She wore the traditional Shop Rite uniform. "That means you win these free brownies! This woman over here made them especially for you!" And Cindy gestured to an old woman in a pink polka dot dress.

It might have looked like an old woman to Cindy, but the Titans knew better when they saw the white curly hair that sat on the old woman's head fall off.

Beast Boy stifled a gasp. And whispered, "She's… _bald._"

Raven glared at him. "'She's' a _Slade-Bot_, in a granny getup."

Beast Boy shook his head. "Wha—? No. If she was a Slade-Bot, she wouldn't have made us these"—he almost drooled—"delicious looking brownies."

Robin stood up. "My turn," he exclaimed, and with that, he charged the 'granny'.

The Slade-Bot realized his cover was blown and threw down his purse and ripped off the granny dress so he could move easier.

Beast Boy gasped loudly. "She's NAKED!"

Raven gave him a small slap on the arm. "It. Is. A. _Slade-Bot_. You. _IDIOT_."

Robin took care of the Slade-Bot easily and then threw the brownies away. "You know what? Slade trying to poison us is getting _really _old."

"You said it," Cyborg agreed.

And the Titans paid for their groceries and left the Shop Rite.

"We better hurry," Starfire said, "looks like there's a pretty bad storm on the way."

And she was right. Big, billowing, dark clouds filled up the whole sky, and once the Titans got into the Tower, it began to pour. Thunder boomed. Lighting cracked.

The Titans gathered in the main room.

Just then, there was an enormous boom of thunder, and an extraordinary crack of lightning filled the sky.

The Titans froze. Not because they were scared, but because something had kept them frozen for a second.

On the other side of town, Slade was in his hideout when the big thunder and lightning hit.

"YES! This is the _foolproof_ plan to _poison_ the Teen Tit—" Slade froze in mid-sentence.

It was a full minute before Slade unfroze. He looked down at his pile of rat poison.

"What in the heck am I doing?" he said aloud. "Using petty poison to deal with the Teen Titans? What have I been doing for the past…few days?" He walked around and checked the place.

"AND WHO STOLE MY PINK POLKA-DOT DRESS!" he boomed.

But the point was. Slade was back to normal…

The Titans unfroze.

Starfire was the first to recover. "What was this big boom? Is there a person in the fluffy cotton that is angry?"

"That was thunder, Star," Robin told her.

"Well, that thunder suddenly made me work up an appetite," Beast Boy said. "I think I'm up for some tofu!" And he went to the kitchen.

Robin looked at the other Titans. "Do any you remember what we were doing for the last couple of days?"

"I do not, friend Robin. I only recall that I was not being myself," Starfire answered.

Cyborg and Raven said pretty much the same thing.

"I seem to remember…Slade was trying to poison us…over and over…," Raven said in her usual monotone voice.

"And I seem to remember Star…killing my pizza?" Robin said.

The Titans looked at each other, confused.

Then Beast Boy came back in. Haven heard the conversation, he said, "I remember…something about a…pink polka-dot dress, with a matching purse?"

Robin shrugged. "Don't know. It's kind of confusing…But I guess the good news is…we're back to normal."

THE END


End file.
